Gary the monkey

I just wanted to remind everybody that tomorrow, the 20th of February is National Vacuum Maintenance Day. Please remember to check your vacuums and change those belts. You don't want to blow a belt when vacuuming. Ever since the incident I have been trying to influence as many people as possible to replace their vacuum belts.

One good thing about the dismal economy is that my neighbor will not be able to buy any new giant Christmas decorations. Or will he? I wouldn't put it past him making his family skip meals in order to buy another crappy decoration. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy houses decorated for the holidays. I even enjoy super tacky holiday displays as long as the person decorating has some form of creativity. Going to Wallmart and buying every crappy piece of Christmas display and dumping them into your yard is not creative. Filling your yard with inflatable singing garbage is not create. What really got me worked up was when my neighbor filled every last inch of his yard with decorations and has enough nerve to ask if he could put displays in my yard.

It happens to the best of us... It happens in line at the store. It happens while driving. It happens while on the train during your hour long commute to the city. It happens without warning. What do you do? You ditch your underwear you freak. You just crapped your pants. I want to hear your pant crapping events in detail. Post them as comments to this posting. Thanks! Here is one of the two pant crapping events that have taken place in my life.

I love Thanksgiving food so much. The family part is cool I guess, but the food is what I look forward to. I was hoping to start a new nationwide tradition. Another Thanksgiving, 6 months after the original Thanksgiving. It will be in May with all the same food we have come to love. The only difference between the two Thanksgivings will be the weather. Oh, and no football on TV.

6 Things I have in common with Ann Coulter

We both have an Adams apple.
We both have penises.
We both shamelessly self promote.
We both have really big penises.
We both could kick the Hannity out of Alan Colmes if need be.
We both bought the same book last week. "how to shrink your giant penis" by Will Hung.

Is it just me or does she kind of sound like Krang from the Ninja Turtles?

Starting and running your own business is an emotional roller coaster. You will sometimes stay up all night worrying about things you have no control over. But the rewards are great if you don't give up and succeed.

Coupon Slut - A person who holds up the line at the grocery store
with thousands of coupons they cut from newspapers they
stole of off their neighbors side walks. They manage to buy a whole
shopping cart worth of food and products for under $10 and you wonder
what advanced budgeting class they took to learn all their skills. Secretly
you are jealous of their money saving techniques but prefer to mock them
by referring to them as coupon sluts.

Have you ever been to the grocery store and wondered what that colored label located next to the price label was? That colored label is the product’s unit price. Unit prices provide consumers with a simple way of value comparing products in a given category. Unit prices are not magic numbers, but rather a simple calculation consisting of the total item price divided by a set measurement unit. If Campbells soup was $3.00 for 12 fluid ounces and the measurement unit for soup was 1 fluid ounce, using simple algebra we can determine that if $3.00 buys you 12 ounces of soup, $.25 would buy you one fluid ounce of that same soup.

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